I’m back or at least trying to be…

It’s been a while since I posted, it’s been a while since I painted. The last painting I started was in the beginning of April and has sat on my easel staring at me, my father started going in and out of the hospital and I becoming worried that cancer was winning the battle. After several falls and hospital admission I received a call from several family members that he had fallen once again and had hit his head and that there was blood all over the floor. That call was the worse one of my life, my fear was becoming a reality, my father had been fighting cancer since the late 90’s and it started in one area and eventually became bone marrow cancer, had tumors in the head and several areas in the body. So… with that being said I had to gather my children and my husband had to drive us down to Miami, so that I could be by my father. Once, I arrived in the hospital I saw the most heart breaking sight,  he was incoherent with monitors attached and a breathing tube, which had to be removed b/c of his living will. I never left his side and did not leave that hospital, it was a horrible night seating there with my mom seeing him that situation and knowing that the tube had to be removed — it was long night running into the following day which was worse than the night. The time came that the tube was removed, long process to request and long process to achieve because it was known by the hospital medical staff that he would pass. I had never witness a person being removed from a breathing tube, the sounds and the reaction of the patient is horrific, even with all the morphine you can tell he was in pain and the worse of it all as he held my hand he finally opened his eyes made eye contact and he teared, I knew he was leaving now and he did …. Even since that I have been in shock, paralyzed in life, it’s been very hard to be able to do anything especially painting because I no longer had my daily afternoon call from dad asking what was my latest painting. Today makes two months since his passing and I’m trying to keep it together, the tears still come and I still have a deep pain in my heart.

I had started these for my daughters room while grieving – painted  a decorative box with a Fleur de lis and a matching painting, as per her request.

and I’m also trying to complete the painting on the easel, I’ll post a picture of that very soon.

In order to heal the pain of my great loss, I have engulfed myself in home projects and gardening, yes back to garden, that’s where I go when I want to hide from the world… I’ll snap and post some pics in the next few days. I’m also working on a fire pit – waiting on the clay to make refractory cement for the inside of the pit. Will post within the next week.

Meanwhile, here’s a picture of the seashell planters I made, made 2 of these, I have hundreds of seashells if not thousands already because every time I go to the beach I go crazy collecting seashells.

They are a little rustic but I think they look kinda cool.

Once I get my head completely back into painting, I’m also planning on getting gallery representation once again. We’ll see how that goes.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s